Bad Year, Good Pizza: Crust Fund Pizza in 2020

Guest-star hand and leg: Derrick Tung, Paulie Gee’s Logan Square

See you in hell, stink year! This was not a fun one. Thank god for pizza. And for you folks.

I covered this in that Reader interview, but Crust Fund’s adorable mascot and joy-bringing pies were born of pure fear, frustration, and rage. But all the coolest origin stories start with disaster. And it turned into yet another reminder of how amazing Chicago is, and why it’s the only city where I choose to put down roots as a certified Local Meatball.

You know how this works — I make pies, you donate directly to nonprofits I select, and we meet in a mysterious undisclosed alley to make the world a little less cruddy. And man, what a year it was! Let’s break down the numbers:

• August (The TRiiBE) - Six pies, $501 raised

• September (My Block, My Hood, My City) - 10 pies, $1,065 raised

• October (Greater Chicago Legal Clinic) - 11 pies, $825 raised

• November (Injustice Watch) - 10 pies, $1,725 raised

• December (The TRiiBE) - Seven pies, $636.70 raised

• TOTAL - $4,752.70

That is wild. I like my pizza. My wife likes my pizza. My kids like my pizza. But you all paid an average of just under $108.02 per square-cut 14” pizza. Someone paid $250 for one! Guys, it’s probably not worth that much. Or if it is, those highfalutin bastards at Michelin better explain why my alley has received ZERO stars to date.

Seriously. Thank you. The places who get this money do the real work of lifting up our neighbors, communities, and city. If you need a huckster in an apron to lure you into an alley to recognize the amazing work done in Chicago, then I’ll keep at it as long as you’re buying.

I’ll see you in the alley in 2021. And don’t forget that there’s still time to support the Crust Fund cookbook before it comes out next year.

Happy New Year! Stay safe. Cut squares.